In our previous discussion on The Double Standard of Modern Devotion, we confronted the performative rituals and fake submission many engage in simply to manage fragile human egos and avoid conflict.
When you run a diagnostic on why so many believers shrink, over-explain, and settle for hypocritical arrangements, you inevitably arrive at a core soul-audit question:
“Am I engaging in performative peace or fake submission just to manage a fragile ego and avoid conflict?”
If we look at this from a “Solid Food” perspective- cutting through religious sentiment to get straight to the marrow of the matter-the root cause is clear: Hedging your bets.
Many believers keep one foot in the Kingdom and one foot on the brake pedal of self-preservation because they are terrified that if they burn the human bridge, there won’t be another bridge to cross over. They claim to trust God, but they hold tight to the reins of control.
The Word of God tells us that by knowledge shall the just be delivered (Proverbs 11:9). As hungry, substantial believers, we are gasping for that knowledge so we can cut out the dross, surrender completely, and walk in unshakeable authority.
1. The Fear of Playing Big
When considering the urge to shrink and play small just to accommodate someone else’s insecurity, a famous passage recited in the film Coach Carter (originally written by Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love) comes to mind:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us… And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
In religious spaces, shrinking is often mislabelled as “humility” or “meekness.” But shrinking to keep someone else comfortable isn’t holiness- it is cowardice born of lack of trust.
When you hedge your bets, you tell God: “I trust You to save my soul for eternity, but I don’t trust You to catch me if I jump off this cliff today. I need the insurance policy of human favor just in case You don’t show up.”
Half-surrender is not surrender. You cannot tell the Holy Spirit to take the driver’s seat of your life while keeping your foot clamped onto the brake pedal. You have to get out of the driver’s seat entirely.
2. The Trauma of the Human Proxy: Disentangling Dad from the Godhead
Why do so many of us struggle to leap into radical trust? Why do we hesitate when the Creator of the universe assures us: “Jump, and I will catch you- I will dispatch an innumerable company of angels to hold you up”?
It is often because we have subconsciously projected the failures, inconsistencies, and abuses of our biological fathers onto the Godhead.
Consider how this plays out in real life: You might have had a father like mine who, on an emotional level, was deeply engaging- someone you could sit with, laugh with, call for advice, and rely on for wisdom. Yet, in equal measure, that same father may have been financially passive or abusive- refusing to rise up to his responsibilities, letting his wife carry the entire household burden, while still holding tightly to patriarchal demands of subjugation.
Growing up in that environment created in me deep internal trauma:
- The Birth of Escape: Sitting in the back of a car while my parents engaged in bitter, traumatic conflict which forced me as a child to shut my eyes, grit my teeth, and escape into their own mind. That environment becomes the birthplace of daydreaming (or maladaptive daydreaming)-building internal worlds simply to survive an unmanageable reality.
- The Fractured Perception of God: Where your father excelled (communication, warmth, advice), you easily trust God. You can go to God, cry, complain, and ask for clarity during exams or trials. But where your earthly father failed (provision, protection, financial leadership), you develop a profound spiritual block. You assume that God will also fail you in that area, forcing you to step in, control, and hedge your bets.
Here is where the rubber meets the road: You must separate the arm of flesh from the character of God.
Jeremiah 17:5 warns us that cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength. A human father’s passivity, financial failure, or hypocrisy is not a reflection of Yahweh. What a human being failed to do in your childhood, God is incapable of failing to do in your covenant.
3. Deliverance Through Knowledge & Active Responsibility
You cannot simply wake up one morning and tell yourself to “just believe.” Radical trust is built through the daily work of active deliverance.
And how are we delivered? By Knowledge.
When you go into the Word, take your mindsets to the Lord in prayer, and turn your plate over in fasting, you break the legal right of fear over your life.
Look at what happens when you take radical personal responsibility and go “all in” with God:
- You stop waiting passively for a miraculous move and begin executing the blueprint He gave you.
- You stop accepting generational sickness or physical symptoms as “normal”. You look at the finished work of the Cross (Isaiah 53:5) and recognize that under the new covenant, you are no longer subject to the curse. When pain or infirmity tries to manifest, you speak to it with authority and kick it out of your warehouse.
- You recognise that trial and friction are not sanctioned by God to destroy you, but permitted so you can achieve mastery in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
The Tactical Soul Audit: The Trust & Projection Check
Take 10 minutes today to walk through your internal warehouse and run this diagnostic check:
- Where in my life am I “hedging my bets- holding onto an ungodly connection or polite lie because I don’t trust God to provide if I walk away?
- What specific failure of my earthly parents am I attributing to the Godhead? (e.g., “My dad was financially passive, so I don’t trust God with my finances.”)
- Am I sitting in the driver’s seat with my foot on the brake, trying to dictate how the Holy Spirit navigates my path?
The Executive Proclamation
“Father, Supreme Lawgiver and Sovereign God, I repent for every area where I have hedged my bets, held onto the reins of control, and doubted Your absolute sufficiency. I disown the lie that You operate like my earthly parents or the broken human proxies of my past. I take my foot off the brake today. I step out of the driver’s seat and yield total control to the Holy Spirit. I refuse to shrink, play small, or perform fake peace to keep people comfortable. I trust in Your promise, I jump into Your assignment, and I stand on Your finished work. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Take the Work Off the Airwaves
- Listen to the Deep-Dive: Catch Episode 6: Tricked Out of Your Position: Old Prophets and the Cost of Compromise on the Sincere Milk & Solid Food podcast to learn how to break out of the “polite prison” and step into uncompromising obedience. [Listen on Spotify / Apple Podcasts]
- Do the Deep Work: Grab your copy of Guided Journal: Vol 1 to execute your daily soul audits, dismantle parental projections, and build radical trust. [Shop the Bookstore]
- Are You Ready for Solid Food? Visit www.sinceremilksolidfood.org to read deep-dive articles, check out our study guides, and join the waitlist for The Believer’s Life Cycle book! [Join the Waitlist]